Just be, because the rest is still unwritten

If this is a little repetitive, I apologize. But if you are going to be on my blog you are going to live by my rules!

So I did a thing this week. My mantra is "just be". I decided it would be my first (and likely last) tattoo. I wanted it as a tattoo to always remind me to stay in the moment and to be present. It helps me to not worry about all of the "what ifs" that might happen in the future. I try to remember it since it's my mantra, but now I have a constant reminder. You would be amazed how often the reminder helps, whether I am stressed, I can't sleep, or I am undergoing a test or a treatment i see it on my wrist and refocus myself on the moment (before the permanent tattoo i had a temporary).

Getting the tattoo was a new experience and kind of fun. It was quick. It hurt a bit because the skin on my wrist is very thin, but it was over fast. Most of the time was spent prepping and chatting with Gene, my tattoo artist. I like experiencing new things so I enjoyed it.

And then today, while I was doing errands at Trader Joes (duh), I was listening to Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Of course, I was singing it at the top of my lungs while driving and crying.

And then I realized how connected "just be" and "unwritten" are.

As I said, 'just be" for me means to be present and in the moment. Don't get caught up in what might happen, it doesn't matter. What matters is what is going on inside me physically and emotionally at that moment. As my therapist explained, even if I am worried about something in the future, if I can center myself around how I am feeling at that moment, I can figure out how to manage my worry.

Being more present helps me manage anxiety (I don't have a ton but when I do), keeps me more engaged, stops "monkey mind" and can calm me down and keep me grounded.

"Unwritten" for me is all about the future not being determined. I am not sure what will go on the page but from this point forward, my future is unwritten. Basically, this is the beginning of the rest of my life so being in the moment is my starting point.

You see how those work together?

Some of the other things I like about "just be" is that it's very flexible, for example:

• just be in the moment

• just be who I am

• just be where I am

• just be when I am

• just be with who I am with (is that redundant?)

• etc

Lots of uses for "just be" and all of them work for me and remind me of what keeps me grounded and happy.

So I wanted to share my "just be" and "unwritten" relationship.

On another note, I start PRRT, which is a targeted radiation treatment, on 8/1. I will have four sessions, one every eight weeks. If it works the way it should, It should help stop my tumors from growing or the disease from spreading for a while. Research shows that it offers a progression free survival rate of 2.3 years, about 1.5 years more than my monthly injections, so it's a big part of my "kick the can" strategy.

I am sure I will let you know how that goes!