0.000000000000000000000000004%

That number, that crazy small number in the title, is the % of mass that Earth is in the OBSERVABLE universe. Yup, we are so small that we are insignificant. Literally. We are smaller than an ant is to Shaquille O'Neal.

But, if you asked us, we would be completely focused on ourselves, as if the universe revolved around us, as opposed to us being irrelevant. We are so arrogant as a species. But, we are infinitesmal. Hence, our search for meaning.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Is it just because I finished a book called the Journey of a JuBu? Maybe.

It's the story of a Jew who studies Buddhism in an attempt to find peace and to make sense of the world and his place in it. It's funny and makes you think, a good combo.

Is it because I am getting so sick of having people push their religions on other people in every public discussion? Maybe.

Is it because there is so much hate centered on people who believe different things? Maybe. No, yes, for sure.

Is it because I have faced death a few times? Maybe.

Whatever the reason, it's been on my mind. I have been trying to define what spirituality means to me. I had a great conversation with Claude, my new AI friend, and told it that I consider myself an "atheist figuring out what spirituality means to me". Claude loved that. Thanks Claude.

My therapist told me that spirituality could mean that you watch a sunrise, and realize that it isn't rising for you. That there is a lot at play that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I like that definition. A lot.

There are two others that I've found that I like:

1. Spirituality is a personal, subjective journey to find meaning, purpose, and connection to something larger than oneself, such as the universe, nature, or a higher power

2. The quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.

It's funny, I never really considered myself spiritual, but I think I am evolving a lot in that way. I am getting there as my definition moves away from religious identity and more towards the definitions above. Understanding that there are things bigger than me. And us.

I realize my position in the universe. I am tiny, and I only mean anything to those around me, mostly those who know me. I mean nothing to the 3 trillion plus planets out there that we know of (and all the alien life that exists, because, OF COURSE IT DOES).

Am I religious? Not at all. I really don't like organized religion. In my opinion (my blog, I can say what I want) religion is the cause of most bad things that have happened to people. Wars, politics, killing, etc.

But I do believe something. I do believe that the universe exists, whether I matter or not. I do believe that nature is healing and incredible. I do believe that we are all connected by things we don't understand but we all share. Not sure i'd call it a higher power, but it's a higher something. An umbrella that sits over everyone, and every thing.

A sunrise, for example, is experienced the same by everyone, no matter where you were born, what your family or tribe believed, how much money you have, etc. We all experience it. Sunsets happen on every planet in our solar system. It's not a human occurrence, it's a universal occurrence.

There is something greater than all of us that we didn't create or imagine, that just happens.

I think I agree with my therapist. Currently, for me, my spirituality is based on recognizing things that happen despite me, not because of me. I don't need answers for everything, I am happy not knowing and just appreciating.

So I am going to continue down my path. Recognizing and appreciating the universe, understanding that what happens on a universal scale isn't because of me, and appreciating the things that we can all share and benefit from.

And I keep thinking, is 'spiritual" just another label that people like to attach to themselves or others?

No one, no belief, no country, no government, no philosophy contributes to the feeling every human (and being) has when the sun comes up and we feel the warmth on our face.

I guess that's what makes me feel connected to things I don't understand, but I appreciate.

I think I am happy because I accept and appreciate, I don't always try to answer.

Does that all make sense? It does to me, and it's my blog!

PS I had a colonoscopy and got a great report! Next one in 10 years!